diff --git a/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/default.nix b/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/default.nix
index 13ce816bd..369825346 100644
--- a/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/default.nix
+++ b/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/default.nix
@@ -41,6 +41,7 @@ in
         "feedbackd"
         "procps"
         "swaynotificationcenter"
+        "util-linux"
       ];
     };
   };
@@ -62,7 +63,15 @@ in
     };
 
     # prevent dbus from automatically activating swaync so i can manage it as a systemd service instead
-    packageUnwrapped = pkgs.rmDbusServices pkgs.swaynotificationcenter;
+    packageUnwrapped = pkgs.rmDbusServices (pkgs.pkgsDebug.swaynotificationcenter.overrideAttrs (upstream: {
+      version = "0.10.1-unstable-2024-04-16";
+      src = pkgs.fetchFromGitHub {
+        owner = "ErikReider";
+        repo = "SwayNotificationCenter";
+        rev = "8cb9be59708bb051616d7e14d9fa0b87b86985af";
+        hash = "sha256-UAegyzqutGulp6H7KplEfwHV0MfFfOHgYNNu+AQHx3g=";
+      };
+    }));
     suggestedPrograms = [
       "feedbackd"
       "swaync-fbcli"  #< used to sound ringer
diff --git a/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/scripts.nix b/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/scripts.nix
index ec74d3301..db2fa09c6 100644
--- a/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/scripts.nix
+++ b/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/scripts.nix
@@ -24,14 +24,14 @@
   # - SWAYNC_SUMMARY
 
   # rules to use for testing. trigger with:
-  # - `notify-send test test:message` (etc)
+  # - `notify-send --app-id=foo subject body` (etc)
   # should also be possible to trigger via any messaging app
   fbcli-test-im = {
     body = "test:message";
     exec = "swaync-fbcli start proxied-message-new-instant";
   };
   fbcli-test-call = {
-    body = "test:call";
+    body = "test:call-start";
     exec = "swaync-fbcli start phone-incoming-call";
   };
   fbcli-test-call-stop = {
diff --git a/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/swaync-fbcli b/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/swaync-fbcli
index daf35c371..09e7d13b9 100755
--- a/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/swaync-fbcli
+++ b/hosts/common/programs/swaynotificationcenter/swaync-fbcli
@@ -1,5 +1,9 @@
 #!/usr/bin/env nix-shell
-#!nix-shell -i bash -p feedbackd -p procps -p swaynotificationcenter
+#!nix-shell -i bash -p feedbackd -p procps -p swaynotificationcenter -p util-linux
+
+# this script does some really unusual indirection with the `start` action:
+# IT'S INTENTIONAL.
+# swaync is picky about how its scripts are terminated. not a great idea to directly signal them.
 
 action="$1"
 event="$2"
@@ -7,16 +11,26 @@ event="$2"
 
 log() {
   if [ -n "$SWAYNC_DEBUG" ]; then
-    printf "%s\n" "$1"
+    printf "%s\n" "$1" >&2
   fi
 }
 
-child=
+# child=
 
 # kill children if killed, to allow that killing this parent process will end the real fbcli call
 cleanup() {
-  log "aborting fbcli notification (PID $child)"
-  pkill -P "$child"
+  log "aborting fbcli notification"
+  # "trap -": to avoid recursing
+  trap - SIGINT SIGQUIT SIGTERM
+  # "kill 0" means kill the current process group (i.e. all descendants)
+  kill 0
+  # pkill -g 0
+  # if [ -n "$child" ]; then
+  #   pkill -P "$child"
+  #   kill "$child"
+  # else
+  #   pkill -P $$
+  # fi
   exit 0  # exit cleanly to avoid swaync alerting a script failure
 }
 
@@ -35,38 +49,51 @@ startInline() {
     fbcliArgs+=(-t "$timeout")
   fi
 
+  trap cleanup SIGINT SIGQUIT SIGTERM
+
   # feedbackd stops playback when the caller exits
   # and fbcli will exit immediately if it has no stdin.
   # so spoof a stdin.
   log "${fbcliArgs[*]}"
-  sleep $((3 + ${timeout:+ + $timeout})) | ${fbcliArgs[@]}
+  bash -c "sleep $((3 + ${timeout:+ + $timeout})) | ${fbcliArgs[*]}" &
+  # child=$!
+  wait
 }
 
 start() {
   # if in Do Not Disturb, don't do any feedback
   # TODO: better solution is to actually make use of feedbackd profiles.
   #       i.e. set profile to `quiet` when in DnD mode
-  if [ "$SWAYNC_URGENCY" != "Critical" ] && [ "$(swaync-client --get-dnd)" = "true" ]; then
+  if [ "$SWAYNC_URGENCY" != "Critical" ] && [ "$(swaync-client --get-dnd --skip-wait)" = "true" ]; then
+    log "DND: skipping"
     exit
   fi
 
-  trap cleanup SIGINT SIGQUIT SIGTERM
-
-  startInline &
+  # startInline &
+  log "$0 start-inline $event"
+  # setsid -f "$0" start-inline "$event"
+  # setsid -f -w "$0" start-stage-1 "$event" || true
+  setsid -f -w "$0" start-stage-1 "$event"  > /dev/null 2> /dev/null < /dev/null &
+  # "$0" start-stage-1 "$event" &
   child=$!
   wait
 }
 
 stop() {
-  pkill --echo --signal SIGINT --full "swaync-fbcli(-wrapped)? start $event"
+  pkill --echo --full "swaync-fbcli(-wrapped)? start-stage-2 $event" || true
 }
 
+
 case "$action" in
   start)
     start
     ;;
-  startInline)
-    startInline  # support this for debugging
+  start-stage-1)
+    # setsid -f -w "$0" start-stage-2 "$event"
+    "$0" start-stage-2 "$event"
+    ;;
+  start-stage-2)
+    startInline
     ;;
   stop)
     stop