diff --git a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/gitea.nix b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/gitea.nix
index 5419a30c7..510352182 100644
--- a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/gitea.nix
+++ b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/gitea.nix
@@ -108,6 +108,10 @@
     locations."/" = {
       proxyPass = "http://127.0.0.1:3000";
     };
+    # fuck you @anthropic
+    locations."= /robots.txt".extraConfig = ''
+      return 200 "User-agent: *\nDisallow: /\n";
+    '';
     # gitea serves all `raw` files as content-type: plain, but i'd like to serve them as their actual content type.
     # or at least, enough to make specific pages viewable (serving unoriginal content as arbitrary content type is dangerous).
     locations."~ ^/colin/phone-case-cq/raw/.*.html" = {
diff --git a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/jackett/default.nix b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/jackett/default.nix
index 260470556..22caa2556 100644
--- a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/jackett/default.nix
+++ b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/jackett/default.nix
@@ -58,6 +58,9 @@ in
       proxyPass = "http://${config.sane.netns.ovpns.netnsVethIpv4}:9117";
       recommendedProxySettings = true;
     };
+    locations."= /robots.txt".extraConfig = ''
+      return 200 "User-agent: *\nDisallow: /\n";
+    '';
   };
 
   sane.dns.zones."uninsane.org".inet.CNAME."jackett" = "native";
diff --git a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/kiwix-serve.nix b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/kiwix-serve.nix
index c6b185a3f..c3e9e65b7 100644
--- a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/kiwix-serve.nix
+++ b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/kiwix-serve.nix
@@ -21,6 +21,9 @@
     enableACME = true;
     # inherit kTLS;
     locations."/".proxyPass = "http://127.0.0.1:8013";
+    locations."= /robots.txt".extraConfig = ''
+      return 200 "User-agent: *\nDisallow: /\n";
+    '';
   };
 
   sane.dns.zones."uninsane.org".inet.CNAME."w" = "native";
diff --git a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/komga.nix b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/komga.nix
index 15213db5b..98633b741 100644
--- a/hosts/by-name/servo/services/komga.nix
+++ b/hosts/by-name/servo/services/komga.nix
@@ -17,6 +17,9 @@ in
     locations."/" = {
       proxyPass = "http://127.0.0.1:${builtins.toString port}";
     };
+    locations."= /robots.txt".extraConfig = ''
+      return 200 "User-agent: *\nDisallow: /\n";
+    '';
   };
   sane.dns.zones."uninsane.org".inet.CNAME."komga" = "native";
 }